Sorry I wasn’t in a talkative mood
as nothing has any relevance anymore.
I was wrongly suspicious,
it appeared too much of a coincidence.

Nothing has changed despite being back.
8-9 hours and drowsy through to mid afternoon,
Hating the fact that I feel like a pill-popper with little result.

I am undecided if I will be going,
pushy and aggravates.
It’s been a waste of time

I apologize for not contacting you.
Accused of asking you to choose,
its better if it stays that way from my end.

I tried last night but to no avail.
Why can’t I sleep!
I’m angry at myself for not finishing it!

Serious about not taking meds?
YES!

Serious about being angry at myself?
YES!

Angry about going along with all this B.S.?
YES!

Serious about finishing myself?
As serious as a coward can be.
I just wish I could!

Angry at the wall?
YES!

Angry at the pillow?
YES!

Angry at the T.V. Remote?
NO because it doesn’t exist any more.

Serious intentions?
you would be obliged to intervene.

So, no.


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